Loss, Part Two

Edited June 23, 2012.

Life is delicate - it is short and unpredictable - it is all of those familiar cliches rolled up into our muscles and bones, it is the softness of our breath and the fluttering of our eye lashes.

Today I learned of the death of a friend, of a fellow coffee lover, of a great and nice man who I knew through our interactions at Dunn Bros Coffee shop.

I saw him last on Thursday afternoon - we were joking and laughing as I handed him his small decaf two pump mocha latte (a drink that he had been ordering the entire four years that I worked there - with a few exceptions here and there). I knew about his personal life, I had met his wife countless times, I was friends with him on Facebook. And he knew about my life, he kept in touch with me while I was in Germany and sent me many well wishes.

A piece of Dunn Bros is lost now with Curt Gran. He was an afternoon regular - always with a smile on his face, always with a story to tell. He was friendly, helpful, and liked by everyone who worked behind the counter. His wife, Cindy, is sweet and kind and I was so happy and excited for them when they got married last year. My heart aches for her. My eyes sting for her. I can’t imagine the pain she must be feeling.

Curt brought me back a beautiful necklace from Ireland that I had hanging from my rear view mirror. He was thoughtful - he knew I had always wanted to go to Ireland. The necklace now hangs around my boyfriend’s neck, I gave it to him before I left for Germany - and it is a reminder of our mortality, of our love, of beauty, and of life.  

Who can know how long our lives will be - or how short? It is terrifying to think that tomorrow I may not be able to hug and kiss Izzy or Amelia, my two beautiful nieces. Or that Michael and I may never hold hands again. It is amazing that we are even able to live our lives with the looming terror of death over our shoulders. But it is important that we continue the movements of life.

Sandy shared a conversation she had with Curt a few weeks before his death: Curt was telling Sandy how when he was younger he wasn’t too interested in sports. But he remembers the first BMX dirt bike that he received when he was 8 years old. He said, from that day on, he was always on a bike – he loved the freedom of riding.

Curt was an adventure-seeker but he was a safe rider. On that Thursday he told me how he had just replaced the clutch on his bike – something that he was proud to have done on his own. I asked him if that was safe – and he said that had done quite a bit of research and had friends to help him through the process. He was confident in his handiwork.

Dear dear Curt, you will be missed. Every time I make a mocha latte I will think of you. And I will think about the happiness that filled your life. And I will think about the sadness that will settle at the bottom of each cup of coffee - the sadness of the loss of a life that ended tragically and too quickly.

If you knew Curt and would like to offer your condolences to his family and friends, please stop by Dunn Bros in Pewaukee where a little memorial will be set up in his memory.